Paralyzed by perfectionism
Straight away I will need to ask your forgiveness – I am forcing myself to write this blog with very little forethought or planning as both strategies have resulted in this four-week radio silence that has been deafening! You see, I have come to realize that I lie to myself. Yup. I am a well-seasoned, expert liar. I have been telling myself that what I’ve been doing since February was honing my marketing skills, learning how to improve the customer experience and streamline the back end.
What I’ve successfully accomplished is creating habits that LOOK like work but aren’t. Let me explain. When I launched The Guild Box Co. I was very aware that I would need to learn how to run a successful company. I registered for grant programs, webinars, conferences, and courses. Last summer, six months into the business, I realized that I was attending too many webinars – I had learned enough to know that some e-commerce specialists prefer social media, some prefer search engines, some email lists, but all are convinced that their platforms are best. What this results in is a small business owner, working alone, trying to learn, and run multiple platforms all at once. It was freeing, recognizing that I didn’t need to do it all, I gave myself permission to pull back and focus on getting better at the foundation pieces.
Today, while I panic-showered (it’s a thing where I’m avoiding work to the point that I absolutely must get clean or die!), I realized that I had come full circle. I have recently completed my second grant program, allow myself a choice of three business podcasts to listen to when I walk the dogs, and am enrolled in a year-long marketing program. I have become paralyzed by my idea of what my business ought to be. My perfectionist is pushing me to post and blog but it’s also telling me to double check and wait until I know more. This blog is me ripping the Band-Aid off. You are my unwilling therapist, and I am oversharing, and this is going to cure me of my fear of action!
And because we’re all friends here I have no problem confessing that I was called away from this blog post for the very important task of ceiling fan shopping. Now before you judge, it’s for the final touches on the patio project that I posted about last summer. It’s connected, therefore it’s important.
Acknowledging that I am in danger of distraction I will simply say – thank you, thank you for allowing this stream of consciousness into your day. Fingers are crossed that I have crossed the bridged, closed the door, turned over a new leaf, and returned to a life only mildly hampered by perfectionism.